and then it all starts again.

few more hours to book in. i don't even want to think about how many because that will only make it more depressing. practically slept away most of my weekends. too shag. slept at 10 plus both nights i was home. did not meet up with anyone, not even communicate online.

i feel so detached from the rest of the world. its been only like 1 week but i feel like eternity has passed. next week is going to be hell, followed by more hell and finally greater hell the weeks after. i used to be able to path out my future plans, see where i stand in society, and even the reason for my existence. now a simple 2 year military service is practically screwing all of that up. its like blurring up, mixing up, and whatever it is doing to me.

i need to seriously get a life. make use of my weekends to do something meaningful, something that i would do if i wasn't in military service. was thinking of giving tuition over the weekend, but that too has to wait because i am presently a trainee and a trainee's schedule is full of uncertainty. i cant wait, seriously, to get out of ASLC. to be posted to a stable unit where i know i can finally plan my weekends fully. as for now, all i can look forward to is the weekly gatherings with friends and whatever family activities.

its going to be a super long week. the swimmers should most prob be too busy to meet up nxt weekend. if not we would be going to splashdown. lol. oh well, suck it up, pull through. I know i can, it just sucks to be me right now. =(